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Men's Health

Premature Ejaculation: Why It’s Not as Bad as You Might Think

“Just think about baseball” or so goes the standard line about how to stop premature ejaculation problems. Oh if it were that easy it wouldn’t be the age old problem that it is.

From the time they were young children some men have been overstimulated, over exposed and under touched and loved. As a result when they finally do have the opportunity to receive stimulation their senses can’t handle it and they lose it rather rapidly.

For me the key question is, is this an insurmountable, permanent problem or is it a condition that has developed through environmental factors and upbringing and stimulus issues. It certainly is not a incurable issue and with proper treatment, communication, practice and awareness it can be overcome and in fact can become something that can lead to heightened sexual experience.

First and foremost there has to be a recognition that this is an issue

It is not an accident, or an occasional misstep. It is something that happens too often and can lead to an incomplete love life and to difficult lovemaking experiences. It can lead to awkward relationship situations, breakups and long term frustration. People can grow out of it with experience and exposure but that is not what we are talking about here. We are referring to a situation that needs compassion and treatment.

So what to do? Well first one would need to discuss things with your partner

Communication cannot be overemphasised here. This is not an easy topic to discuss. Check your ego at the door. You are looking for assistance and compassion. If your partner truly cares for you they will be willing and happy to help you through this difficulty. Discuss what the issue is, how it makes you feel and what you might need to get through it. There are multiple resources available online. Further a qualified sex therapist will also be a great help here in guiding your conversations.

Second one would need to discuss some desensitising principles and practices

A primary cause of premature ejaculation is that one is too sensitive to stimuli and reacts to quickly when stimulated. Practice touching, non sexual at first and gradually working one way further and further through the spectrum. It is very important not to rush things. The tendency can be to let a little success lead to declaring victory and that will only lead to short term success.

Go slow and steady. Stimulus, response and repeat

Over time you and your partner will feel better and better. Keep going. Make sure to repeatedly thank your partner for their assistance and care and love.

One other consideration is not to get too disappointed by a set back

This happens to virtually everyone. What you are trying to get to is where this situation does not repeatedly hamper your sexual health or your relationship health. Where it is not interfering with your thinking and behavior. Where it is not sitting on your shoulder and telling you to ” think about baseball”

With patience, common sense, good guidance and a lot of love and caring, premature ejaculation problems are very much an issue with a solution. IT should not cause someone too much fear and insecurity as they move through their lives towards a mature sexuality.